


I Didn't Mean To

by Lady_Sagittarius



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Cheating spouse, Divorce, F/M, Humanstuck, Morning after regrets, OTP bashing, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 19:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Sagittarius/pseuds/Lady_Sagittarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One silly moment of lust just cost you everything you've every loved.<br/>Karezi sadstuck, songfic.<br/>Based on the song: I Didn't Mean To by Heather Headley</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Didn't Mean To

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, first off, all copyrights go to the respective owners. I don't own homestuck, nor do i own the song, it's just a part of my iTunes playlist.  
> Secondly, I've completely chopped my old asylum story for a number of reason. But the biggest reason, I just can't get into it as much as i used to. Maybe I'll bring it back maybe I won't. But for now I'll just keep doing oneshots.  
> Okay like the tags say there will only be slight mentions of Dave/Terezi and Gamzee/Terezi, but pretty much it's a really emotional story. Made me choke up a bit writing it.  
> So without further reading into it, onto the story.
> 
> **10/06 edit: read through it and tried to fix any grammatical errors. I also removed the lyrics so it's not so annoying and also added in some different parts. I also removed some of the more 'obtrusive' tags. It also appears that ff.net has gone and taken down my gamzee/karkat fic for being 2 sexually graphic (so i guess you can only read it from here). Moderators on there as well were threatening to take down this story on there as well was due to copyright issues, so i just went ahead and took it down.

 

      You woke up to a pounding headache. The inside of your mouth tastes like vodka and some sugary confection you can’t place at the moment. You’re sitting in your bedroom, stark naked, with the curtain’s closed, but from the light coming in you can see it’s morning. You grab the sheets and cover yourself up. Eyes still trying to adjust. 

       There’s a groan and you’re head snaps to your left to see a thick mass of black hair poking from under the sheets and you bit back a startled gasp as you quickly hop out of bed, taking the covers with you. Your pulse is racing in your ears as your eyes roam over the naked, gangly form sleeping on your husband’s side of the bed. And you know that this man is most definitely _**not** _ your husband. To make matters worse, of all the men who could’ve been in your bed it had to be the very man you despised with all your heart.

            “Oh god, oh god, what _did I do_?” you whined, biting down on your thumb. “Shit, I need to get him out of here!” You quickly hop to action and crawl on the bed to wake the naked man.

            “Gamzee! Gamzee! Wake up!” you hiss. “Dammit you stupid juggalo, wake the fuck up!”

            Sadly the man in your bed wakes up far too slowly. Just as his eyes crack open to look at you hovering above him, you hear the jiggle of the doorknob turning and protesting squeak of the door hinges as the door opened, and turn shakily to see your husband walk in your shared bedroom.

             “Terezi?” he replies with a gasp. His eyes are wide, the man underneath you shifts to look over at your husband. His eyes nearly bug out of their sockets when he recognizes him, “Gamzee?”

            “Karkat, I-I swear, it’s not what I looks like!” you reply, trying your hardest to dispel the elevating situation.

            He looks between you and the man underneath you, brown eyes flashing from shock and betrayal to pure hate and loathing, a look you’ve only seen a handful of times, those handful of times you've caused that look. 

            “What the fuck am I supposed to think, Terezi?” he snaps, looking ready to foam at the mouth, “My _wife_ is in bed with my _best friend_! I thought you were done with fucking my friends, Terezi. I guess I was wrong.”

            His eyes burn with an intensity you’ve always had the pleasure of never being directed at you. Until now. You suddenly feel small; like a child being scolded by their parents for taking a cookie out of the cookie jar without permission.

            “I didn’t mean to.” you whispered. It sounded small, even in your ears.

            “You didn’t mean to?” he spits hatefully. Eyes growing darker by the second.

            Your throat feels tight, like you have something thick lodged in your windpipe, and all you can do is repeat your earlier statement. “I swear Karkat, I didn’t mean to.”

**

            “Karkat please just listen to me!” you cry, following after him. You’ve long since kicked out Gamzee and gotten dressed, but now you have to avoid all the broken glass with family photos of happier times. Before you dove right of the deep end. Before you decided it was a good idea to get wasted and have sex with your husband’s druggy friend, in your shared bed.

            “No Terezi! Fuck no!” he screeches, back to you as he quickly gathers his car keys and other stuff he needs. “God dammit, Latula! Hurry up and c’mon!” Any other time, you’d berate Karkat on swearing in front of your little girl, but right now, your only focus is to keep him from _leaving_ with her.

            “Please Karkat, just listen, please don’t leave with our little girl.” you plead, hoping maybe you'll be able to crack through his wounded heart and get him to see to some reason.

            Karkat whirls around to look at you, eyes aflame with hate and betrayal, but deep down you could see the hurt and pain. You realized that you caused that. _You_ did.

            “No Terezi, I’m done. I’m leaving; my brother was right, everyone was right about you. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up that you might be faithful, why did I even waste my time?”

            You shake your head, fat tears rolling down your cheeks from the accusation, “No Karkat, that isn’t true. I swear I loved you! I’ve always loved you!”

            He merely responses with a bitter laugh, “Well it’s a little fucking late for that, now don’t you think?”

            “Please Karkat, just lis—!” you’re cut off before you can finish.

            “Mommy? Daddy?”

            You both turn to see Latula standing in the hallway with her teal suitcase and favorite skateboard tucked under her arm. You feel like a statue as Karkat walks around you and grabs Latula’s free hand.

            “Daddy where are we going?” Latula asks as she looks back at you, as if expecting you to follow; and you want to. Oh, so badly you want to follow them. 

            Karkat doesn’t even spare you a sideways glance as he looks down at your little girl with pained eyes. “We’re going away, baby.”

            “Is mommy coming with us?” she asks, big eyes staring back at you and making you feel more awful than before.

            Karkat shakes his head, as he gives you a teary eyed glance, mouth curled up in disgust as if he wanted to spit on you then and there. You wouldn’t blame him if he did. “No, Tulip, we’re going to stay with Grandpa Jack for a while, Mommy doesn’t love us anymore.”

              Your heart clinches painfully at that sentence. Of course you loved them, loved them more than your own life. Your eyes purposefully ignore the suitcases as you stared at the two of them. You just want this all to be a terrible dream, you want to wake up and be in the arms of your husband as he whispers his silly sweet-nothings in your ear. You want your little Latula to come bounding in the room and telling you how much she loves you both. You just want this to blow over just like the Dave incident. But this wasn’t high school anymore, you and Karkat weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, you couldn’t blame anyone this time. It hurts to watch them walk out of your life, your little girl will never look at you the same way again. You aren’t her loving mother anymore, you’re a cheater. After all it’s your fault; you let your lust get in the way. And because of this you must face the consequence of breaking the most sacred rule of marriage: _never cheat on your loving spouse._

            “Karkat, I didn’t mean to, I swear. You have to believe me,” you whisper, tears blocking out your vision of the two people you love most.

            He merely gives another bitter laugh, “That again. Look, Terezi, I’m done. I’m done with the lies, I’m done with the cheating. Obviously I can’t fulfill your needs, so be on the lookout for the divorce papers, because. I. Am. Done.”

            The finality in his voice shook you to the core. There would be no more second chances, there would be no more flowers and candy and make up sex. There would be no more Karkat or Latula.

         Despite the sunny day outside, you feel the dark clouds of depression rolling in. Your pulse is like thunder in your ears, pounding wildly as you watch them walk out the front door. You don’t feel like yourself, like you’re having some sort of out-of-body experience and that woman who’s watching her husband and child walking out of her life isn’t you. The destroyed picture frames aren’t yours. You'll just wake up and it will all be some horrible dream. You’re wishing you could take it back, all of it. Amazing, drunk sex isn’t worth losing your child and husband. It isn’t worth losing everything you’ve built up until now. None of it’s worth it.

            The tears have stopped, but the tight lump has yet to leave. You’re standing in the doorway of what used to be you and Karkat's humble abode, but now nothing more than a cruel reminder of why you’re a failure as a wife. You watch as Karkat helps Latula put her stuff in the backseat of the car as he stuffs his own suitcase in the trunk. He spares you once last glance, the pain is evident all over his face now, there’s no anger anymore, only pain and sadness.

            “If there was any consolation,” he says looking down at the ground, avoiding eye contact, “I kinda wish things didn’t have to turn out this way. I’ll always love you, Terezi, I just never love the fact that you’ve gone and done this to me, again. Latula, come say goodbye to your mother.”

            You feel like a robot as Latula runs up and wraps her arms around your waist, burrowing her face into your stomach, you feel something wet and realize that she is crying.

            “Bye mommy,” she sniffles into your shirt. “I’ll miss you, you’ll come visit, right?”

            “I promise, I’ll come and visit.” Your voice doesn’t sound like your own, it sounds tight, as if you’re not telling her the truth.

            “Latula, c’mon, let’s go,” Karkat commands harshly.

            Latula unwinds her hands from around your waist and you want to reach out for her and just keep her there, have at least _one_ thing to hold onto. But you don’t move, merely give her a weak smile as she walks over to her father. She turns back to you, tears streaming down her eyes as she waves goodbye, and you feel a part of your soul die with the gesture.

            You watched with a blank expression as Karkat’s car revs up and leaves the driveway. You can feel Latula’s stare on you from the back window as they drive away. Once the car is out of sight, reality finally sets in and you collapse on the ground and let sobs wrack your frame. You choke and snivel in the driveway, not caring if your neighbors see you in such a broken state.

            “Oh god, what have I done?” you choke, “I’m so sorry, Karkat. I really, really didn’t mean to.”

 

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so please don't hunt me down, I know i've just pretty much bashed a near-cannon OTP, but i couldn't help myself, especially after hearing the song. If you go on youtube and listen to it you can kind picture it. So yeah...  
> But seriously, please don't hunt me down for this. I go from lemons to sadstucks, what the hell is wrong with me?
> 
> **10/06 edit: read through it and tried to fix any grammatical errors. I also removed the lyrics so it's not so annoying and also added in some different parts. I also removed some of the more 'obtrusive' tags. It also appears that ff.net has gone and taken down my gamzee/karkat fic for being 2 sexually graphic (so i guess you can only read it from here). Moderators on there as well were threatening to take down this story on there as well was due to copyright issues, so i just went ahead and took it down.


End file.
